Jasmine Ong is a development professional, accidental activist, Excel Ninja, and reformed pedant. Though a native speaker of snark, she is also fluent in long, uncomfortable silences punctuated by unpredictably timed interjections. She has a great disdain for the word pulchritude, believing that it sounds like the opposite of what it means. Her volume and impulse controls are often defective, prompting her to say, “I said that out loud, didn’t I?” at least three times a day. Convinced of an impending zombie apocalypse, she nevertheless remains a closet optimist...who just outed herself right now. D’oh.